Article: An Autopoietic Conflict Model (English)
The first step towards autonomy

It requires skill and understanding of a person to come to the point that he sees his own subjectivity in everything. It starts that you become aware that beginning a conflict is a choice. In the case of the car incident, you do not necessarily need to say, “The bastard”, nor is it required in the example of the subway to lecture the father. The parent on the couch may say positively to his child: “Fine, I did know you would be on time!” These are choices that are often made in an extremely poor way. But once arrived in the conflict itself, any party at any time may choose to move from I-It to I-You, how difficult or impossible it may seem to be.[35] But usually the “impossibility” to do that is mixed with views on how the world should look like and how we find ourselves that we should behave and what others will say of it. It’s all very subjective and it has nothing to do with real choices. These are “fictitious necessities.” To gain control over the reaction of what other people might think is the first step. If a human being not succeeds in this, he will remain chained in the presumed expectations of what he thinks other people think he should do. To break this pattern is the step to autonomy.

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